Saturday, 12 May 2012

The Vague Diaries

Now, I don't know if it was indicative of the hair length and wooly wildness....but when I went to shave my underarms the other day, I accidentally grabbed my hair brush instead.


And I didn't even notice until I actually put the hairbrush up against my skin. At which stage Mr Yumminess probably thought I was crying uncontrollably in the shower (again) but I was killing myself laughing (again).

Please tell me I'm not the only absentminded Mummy out there....actually I know I'm not. I know you're out there, walking around your house trying to find that thing that you had in your hand only TWO MINUTES AGO!

Like a lot of other Mum's, I am a multi-tasker. One of my favourite tricks is to tuck my mobile phone into my bra while it's on speakerphone. That way I can carry out the multitude of things I should be doing when what I really want to do is sit down on the couch for a good chat.

A few months ago, I was using this trick while getting ready to go to a friends house. Around I went, packing Alby's bag, getting snacks ready, all the while talking to my Mum from my brassiere. I got to the crucial part where I have everything ready, he is dressed and shod and standing at the door. I grabbed my bag, checked that everything was in there...but do you think I could find my mobile? I stalked around the house rifling through everything, grumbling to Mum that "this always happens".

Oh yeah. I was complaining to my Mum....on my phone.....that I couldn't find my phone. And because she is also a multi-tasking Mum, she was busy whipping up a 5 course meal at the same time so it didn't occur to her that my phone was actually in my bra. And that I was talking to her on it.

I have to laugh at myself because things like this happen to me all the time. Like, the daily key dilemma. I do not have a place to leave the keys every time I walk through the door. This is because there are so many different scenarios that can happen upon re-entering the house.

Scenario 1: We arrive home and child is busting for a wee. I THROW open the door and run him towards the loo. Later, when looking for the keys while yelling "WHO TOOK THE KEYS?!?!", I find them still dangling in the door lock....on the outside....just asking for robbers to take them.

Scenario 2: I arrive home after dropping Child at childcare with packages of fabric just picked up from the post office. The keys are SO insignificant when faced with such bundles of amazingness that they just get dropped somewhere along the way to my sewing room. Again, later I can be found yelling "WHO TOOK THE KEYS?!?!" (never mind that it was me at home all day by myself working) until I find them in a shoe in the front hall. In a shoe?! I'll blame that one on fabric psychosis.

Scenario 3: I arrive home and place the keys in my bag. Huh. Yeah. You bet. I'll never forget where they are! Upon wanting to leave the house again, I can be found yelling "WHO TOOK THE KEYS?!?!" while checking the normal know, outside in the front door, inside shoes, in the fridge, in the bin. I even look in my bag and miss them because of the usual debris that fills my bag. And when I find them eventually, I'm not happy. I'm annoyed at the keys for hiding from me.

I've never claimed to be rational.

Now, where the hell is my phone?

P.s. I just googled "Multi-tasking Mom" <-- I thought I would get better pictures with an American "Mom" and these were my favourites that came up:

 Why does she have a clock on her head? Is that baby supposed to be her doll or is that her baby? Where are the spew stains on her perfectly laundered 80's power suit?

Dear Mom, that little helmet that your child is sporting to "protect him" probably isn't going to help when a ball clocks him in the completely unprotected fontanelle. Just sayin'.


Bobbie said...

So funny, it was like reading about myself :-) And the key scenarios, yep, me again. Always screaming at the kids asking where are the keys to realise later on the same outcomes (bag, most of the time on the door, etc). My husband even got me a present from one of his work trips (I usually don't get one) & I was so excited until I realised it was a book on improving your memory, ha!

Kathy McPherson said...

Ohhhh Alana are you a Gemini?? I am so hopeless in this way.... always doing twenty things at once on Autopilot! I left 3 pairs of boys Nikes at soccer training the other day, they were in a bright blue bag, very hard to miss. They were turned in and left at the canteen, but to this day I still cannot remember where I even left them! Keys, phone and Misty's blankie are top 3 on my list of "where did I put it"..... You are SO NOT ALONE xxxxxx

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